What is Therapy All About?

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Share your thoughts as openly as possible, without editing or censoring yourself. While this may seem easy, it can actually be quite challenging. Some thoughts might appear unimportant, while others could be unpleasant or embarrassing. You might even find yourself thinking of things that feel impolite or inappropriate, such as thoughts about your therapist. Regardless, make an effort to express whatever is on your mind. If you notice something is preventing you from speaking freely, try to discuss what that barrier is.

Ask Questions

 This page provides helpful information for starting therapy. You may have many questions, so feel free to ask your therapist anything you don’t understand. Sometimes, your therapist may want to explore the thoughts and feelings behind your question rather than just providing an answer. This approach allows both of you to deepen your understanding of how your mind works. Remember, therapy is not a procedure done to you; it is a collaborative partnership. It is most effective when you actively participate and stay informed. 

It can be difficult to understand how talking can help, but it is one of the most important things you can do. Through conversation, you will gain a better understanding of yourself, and new options and possibilities will begin to emerge. Research indicates that most people benefit from therapy, including those facing serious issues.

It’s important to note that the benefits of therapy may not be immediate. Initially, you might not see a clear connection between what you’re discussing and the improvement of your problems. Think of it like planting a tree: there is no immediate link between planting seeds and harvesting apples, but if you plant apple seeds and nurture them, eventually you will enjoy the fruit.

Approaching therapy with the mindset of trying it for just a session or two to see what happens may lead to disappointment. That would be similar to planting seeds and deciding that planting is pointless because you don't see apples the next day. Allow therapy the time it needs to be effective. 

When you start therapy, it’s important to feel comfortable talking to your therapist, as well as believe that they are genuinely interested in you and capable of understanding your experiences. If you don’t feel a connection from the start, it’s wise to consider finding someone else.

As therapy progresses, you may experience moments of dissatisfaction with your therapist. This is a normal part of the process, and it helps to be prepared for it. If you find yourself upset with your therapist, it’s crucial to communicate about what is bothering you. Instead of missing appointments or ending therapy prematurely, use this opportunity to express your feelings, even if it's challenging.

If you've been making progress with your therapist and suddenly feel angry or contemplate quitting, it could mean that therapy has touched on something important and difficult. This phase often represents an opportunity for significant growth and self-discovery, and it’s during these times that you may do your most important work. 

Therapy can evoke strong emotions. At various points during your therapy, you may experience feelings toward your therapist that mirror those you've had in other significant relationships. These feelings can include disappointment, hurt, and anger. It's essential to discuss these emotions, as doing so helps you learn more about yourself and your relationship patterns. This process allows you to identify and revise patterns that are problematic, helping you avoid repeating them in the future.

One key difference between therapy and other relationships is that in therapy, you discuss your feelings instead of acting on them. For instance, if you feel angry with someone, you might avoid them or seek revenge. Similarly, if you feel physically attracted to someone, you might try to pursue a romantic relationship. However, in therapy, you focus on communicating these feelings. This dialogue fosters greater self-awareness.

Remember, any feelings you experience are valid—the important thing is to talk about them.

Other people will want you to quit 

As therapy progresses, those close to you may discourage you from continuing. This often indicates that you are undergoing changes, which can be confusing and unsettling for the people who know you. Sometimes, they may believe you are getting worse just as you are starting to improve. Being prepared for this reaction can be helpful.

You may have trouble keeping appointments 

There may be times when you struggle to keep your appointments. You might find it hard to leave work, or your family may need you at home. These situations may seem unrelated to therapy, but it's interesting to note that they often arise just as therapy begins to address emotionally challenging topics. This is when you'll be doing some of your most significant work. It's important not to judge in advance how critical an appointment might be. Commit to attending each and every session, no matter the circumstances.

Ending therapy is an important phase in the therapeutic process. During this time, thoughts and feelings may arise that you hadn’t addressed before. It’s an opportunity to reflect on your accomplishments and the areas where you may not have reached your goals, as well as to consider what lies ahead for you. 

It’s essential to discuss the ending of therapy with your therapist well in advance. Together, agree on an ending date and plan to focus on meaningful work in the sessions leading up to that date. Avoid the mistake of ending abruptly; instead, allow time for reflection and discussion to make the most of this critical phase.